Monday, April 17, 2006

Courage: you couldn't come at a worst time

To live is to see change, but here lately change has been hitting me like a truck.

Consider this:
- I got a new apartment in September
- I've made lots of new friends, and reunited with a few old ones
- I've garnered more responsibility with Rotary and Recycling Jackson
- A few side projects - Jackson Magazine, for instance - ran their course
- I've organized two outstanding ATO alumni events
- My grandma is probably going to lose her house next month
- My car was broken into, shattering my sense of security
- I've reclaimed my personal time, at the expense of some important relationships
- ...let's not even get started on that word, "relationships"
- I'm planning a country-spanning trip in May
- I became an MacGeek

...these are the concrete things, issues and events that have their place on a calendar or in my inbox somewhere. But then there are the more insubstatial factors. This general, unplaceable sense of change and disruption and...progress? Evolution?

Transition. That's the word I'm looking for.

There was moving to Brooklyn and attending Columbia for high school. Going to Adrian. Sophomore year of Adrian. Senior year of Adrian. Graduation. Moving out of dad's. Becoming single. Getting involved in the community.

Now, there's now. The year of our lord 2006.

Lots of friends have written about this "quarter life crisis" - how, here in the real world, life is a bit tougher than they imagined. Or maybe they just can't find a sense of direction. Or are asking themselves, "Is this it? Jesus!"

I'm not feeling any of that. But still, a sense of foreboding; an ethereal electricity in the air. Could be rain.

Could be something bigger.

Guess it just feels better to write it out there, and see if I'm not crazy.

Can anyone else smell it? Or am I just being a doom junkie?

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